I'm quite late responding, but thank you so much for your concrit! I'm happy the fic made enough sense through osmosis (and who hasn't osmosed a little of the Untamed/MDZS by now, haha).

It was really nice to hear which lines were your favorites! Your suggestion for more sensory detail is a great one. Especially in lieu of not having sight to work with in the fic. The last two paragraphs, too, I see what you mean about the repetition so close together. That might be something I would split up or move around differently if I were to write it again.

I appreciate your comment, thoughts, and suggestions a lot! Thank you :)