Hi! I have decided to review Vengeance is mine, being a huge Christie fan, and I absolutely wasn't disappointed by what you did with the premise. When I read "One got in chancery" trying to choose what to review, I loved the style and dialogue but struggled to get into it due to the lack of set up, I felt it needed to be longer and go more into motivation and backstory, and I feel like this fic fixes these issues perfectly. The work you did with the biblical quotes is impressive, very well researched and fitting, the style is extremely readable while also conveying the ah, peculiar personality of our Miss Brent. All the religious references flow naturally into the character even when she's not consciously using them - such as Beatrice and Edward sitting at her left and right! The motivation is very well established and believable, absolutely without any risk of that shock value that people might incur in when they turn the stuffy old church lady into a serial killer. I also love how she clearly has a character arc through the fic, re-evaluating her role both in the island plan and in Beatrice's death and her relationship with God and vengeance. I especially love the juxtaposition of the paragraph about someone being one step ahead of her and the one about Louisa's death, showing her loss of confidence in her plan paralleled with her more limited loss of faith in the justice of God.
There are some choices I felt would have been more impactful: for example it might have been interesting for her to be as involved in Beatrice's death as in the original book but somewhat in denial, maybe thinking her parents are More responsible because, hello, that's their fucking child, with all the tragedy of her realizing she was guilty too all along. Even like this she seems a bit too forgiving of her "wantonness " given how still judgemental she is of Vera.
I was also very torn on what you did with Vera and Philip - on one hand I was a little disappointed at the lack of religious meditation for them, given they're guilty of the two most heinous crimes, and Emily inviting innocents to die in the first place is a little jarring with the rest of her morality, but on the other hand I see the need to show how Wargrave is willing to kill innocents, especially since I love how this plan slowly becomes more and more about personal revenge against him - a sort of fall from perfection. I wish it had been possible to sacrifice someone else on the island for this, but I understand you set up the fic needing to follow the events of the book quite strictly. Overall these are more personal opinions than proper criticism and wouldn't really have occurred to me if I was just reading for pleasure without overthinking, I'm impressed by how well you made the plot work with so many changes in a story where everything has to run precise like clockwork for things to be the same.
There is a little inconsistency in the style, but I think it serves the fic well in most cases (and it's probably intentional) like the way she drops the -eth endings and starts using them again according to the tone of the paragraphs, since she doesn't use such language because it's her own or for its functionality but just because it's associated with the Bible, it's a good character note. However in a way you set up her narrative voice so well it's a little jarring in some points that don't fit it - for example it doesn't feel in character of her to refer to her murders are "psychological", rather than, idk, subtle or exploiting the torments of the conscience or something like that.
Various minor stylistic notes: - we tested a page of the diary in question this feels a bit off because it's the first time the diary is mentioned at all - A vengeful judge spoke lying words that sent my half-brother to the hangman, and none knew except God. I don't think the repetition here is necessarily impactful because the only thing only God knows is that the words are lies, while everyone can know the events happened? So you only really need the sentence after this one. - for such a one as diligently seeketh the truth this sentence is a bit uncomfortable to read - maybe such a one to diligently seek the truth? One who diligently seeketh the truth? - Between the lack of pulse… :they were all taken in a semicolon or even just a comma would be better, since the first sentence seems kinda unfinished this way
I don't think I have anything else to say. This is just a wonderful fic and I'm amazed at how well you made a diary entry format work so well both narratively and on an emotional level. It was an extremely fun read and very in character, and the blatant reference but subtle foreshadowing of the ending in the title is just delicious. The ending is just breath-taking - the stoic resignation of the phrasing "where I shall spend eternity" gave me literal chills. Thank you for this! Going through your fics was an utter pleasure.
no subject
The work you did with the biblical quotes is impressive, very well researched and fitting, the style is extremely readable while also conveying the ah, peculiar personality of our Miss Brent. All the religious references flow naturally into the character even when she's not consciously using them - such as Beatrice and Edward sitting at her left and right!
The motivation is very well established and believable, absolutely without any risk of that shock value that people might incur in when they turn the stuffy old church lady into a serial killer. I also love how she clearly has a character arc through the fic, re-evaluating her role both in the island plan and in Beatrice's death and her relationship with God and vengeance. I especially love the juxtaposition of the paragraph about someone being one step ahead of her and the one about Louisa's death, showing her loss of confidence in her plan paralleled with her more limited loss of faith in the justice of God.
There are some choices I felt would have been more impactful: for example it might have been interesting for her to be as involved in Beatrice's death as in the original book but somewhat in denial, maybe thinking her parents are More responsible because, hello, that's their fucking child, with all the tragedy of her realizing she was guilty too all along. Even like this she seems a bit too forgiving of her "wantonness " given how still judgemental she is of Vera.
I was also very torn on what you did with Vera and Philip - on one hand I was a little disappointed at the lack of religious meditation for them, given they're guilty of the two most heinous crimes, and Emily inviting innocents to die in the first place is a little jarring with the rest of her morality, but on the other hand I see the need to show how Wargrave is willing to kill innocents, especially since I love how this plan slowly becomes more and more about personal revenge against him - a sort of fall from perfection. I wish it had been possible to sacrifice someone else on the island for this, but I understand you set up the fic needing to follow the events of the book quite strictly.
Overall these are more personal opinions than proper criticism and wouldn't really have occurred to me if I was just reading for pleasure without overthinking, I'm impressed by how well you made the plot work with so many changes in a story where everything has to run precise like clockwork for things to be the same.
There is a little inconsistency in the style, but I think it serves the fic well in most cases (and it's probably intentional) like the way she drops the -eth endings and starts using them again according to the tone of the paragraphs, since she doesn't use such language because it's her own or for its functionality but just because it's associated with the Bible, it's a good character note. However in a way you set up her narrative voice so well it's a little jarring in some points that don't fit it - for example it doesn't feel in character of her to refer to her murders are "psychological", rather than, idk, subtle or exploiting the torments of the conscience or something like that.
Various minor stylistic notes:
- we tested a page of the diary in question this feels a bit off because it's the first time the diary is mentioned at all
- A vengeful judge spoke lying words that sent my half-brother to the hangman, and none knew except God. I don't think the repetition here is necessarily impactful because the only thing only God knows is that the words are lies, while everyone can know the events happened? So you only really need the sentence after this one.
- for such a one as diligently seeketh the truth this sentence is a bit uncomfortable to read - maybe such a one to diligently seek the truth? One who diligently seeketh the truth?
- Between the lack of pulse… :they were all taken in a semicolon or even just a comma would be better, since the first sentence seems kinda unfinished this way
I don't think I have anything else to say. This is just a wonderful fic and I'm amazed at how well you made a diary entry format work so well both narratively and on an emotional level. It was an extremely fun read and very in character, and the blatant reference but subtle foreshadowing of the ending in the title is just delicious. The ending is just breath-taking - the stoic resignation of the phrasing "where I shall spend eternity" gave me literal chills. Thank you for this! Going through your fics was an utter pleasure.