It was the right amount of concrit, and it makes me want to go edit both of these right now. :D

I appreciated your points of how to increase the hot factor - more mental images, less clinical vocabulary, avoiding silliness - next fic I will definitely add these points in. And pronoun trouble! I notice it in others' fics and I can't believe I messed it up here so much. Will make sure to focus on that for a while!

Thanks so much for your concrit. I have a lot to ponder and work on.