concrit for yelp

[yelp]

I want to receive feedback by: Comment on this post or directly on AO3!

Here are the works I want feedback on: any fic on my AO3 profile apart from Fields of Ash, To the Last Drop, and Stars and Stripes Forever. Here is a view with these works excluded. A few suggestions:

• to carve nature at its joints (Genshin Impact, 2.3K)
• Always Knew I'd Fall (Eyeshield 21, 3K)
• Lightbringer Mine (Original, non-con, explicit, 5K)

If you are feeling generous, I have two longfics of my heart that I wrote/am writing out of my own inspiration rather than to a prompt. I obviously would not expect concrit on either in its entirety. I'd be delighted with feedback up to whatever point you are willing to read. 

• Once A Runner (130K, Eyeshield 21) - This is the fic that inspired me to start writing again, after about a decade (!!) off, and is the reason every other story on my account even exists! While I absolutely poured my heart and soul into it, the writing gears were pretty rusty, and I'd love ideas for improvement, especially near the start, where I'm still trying to find my stride. The first 4 chapters together are about 5K words; the first 9 are 10K.
• Solid As Stone (16K, Genshin Impact, explicit, incomplete) - After a bit more practice, I wrote this fic with an attempt at a more polished writing style. Feedback here would be super useful, as it is my active WIP. Each chapter is about 3-4K words.

My works' fandoms and content notes are: I mostly write Eyeshield 21, Genshin Impact, and Original Work. A lot of my fics deal with a power imbalance between the main characters, and many of my explicit works feature consent issues of varying degrees. 

I have these questions for readers: It would be great to receive suggestions about pacing/story-telling, characterization, imagery... anything about the writing, really, I want to improve it all! 

I'm always eager to know your reaction to my writing: how you felt about events and characters, whether you could visualize different settings and actions, any first impressions or takeaway feelings.

I'm pretty new to writing smut, so suggestions there would be helpful. 

I would be very grateful to hear if there is a point where you lose interest in a work and drop off. I'm also keen for feedback about the frontmatter, such as titles, tags, and summaries. 

The style of feedback I prefer to receive is: If you are kind enough to provide feedback, I'll happily accept in any form. If you are trying to decide how to phrase things, I prefer direct over kind.

Comments to this post will be: Screened until May 15

Comments

Concrit Posted

[azurrys]

I've posted my concrit for to carve nature at its joints!

[derwent_f]

Hi there! Just want to let you know that I've left comments on Always Knew I'd Fall and Lightbringer Mine over on AO3.

[(Anonymous)]

This is slyboots/tachocracy. Posted concrit on Lightbringer Mine--please feel free to reach out on AO3, here, or at slybootsslick@gmail.com if you have any questions. Hope this was helpful for you!