On the off chance someone's up for it, I'd be interested in feedback on this 20,000-word Buffyverse WIP OR only its first chapter (which is around 2000 words). Replying to this comment or commenting directly on the work would be equally fine. I have specific questions, though you don't have to answer them all:
I've been posting this gradually for a couple of years, and my main character's goals change during the story. How consistent does the story seem in terms of mood/genre/focus? Does it feel like it's still the same story? Do any developments seem to come out of nowhere or seem like sidetracking, based on how the story started?
Chapter 3 is in an original character's POV, and one reader told me they miss the POV of the main characters. Anyone else get that? Might it be better if switched the POV back to the main characters for part of the chapter?
How is Buffybot's characterization in Chapter 5? Does it make sense? Is it convincing and consistent enough?
Generally, is anything confusing or hard to follow?
Alternatively, if someone reads just the first chapter, I'd want to know what expectations the chapter sets: what questions it opens, where you'd imagine the story might go, what kind of mood or genre you'd expect in the rest of the story, what (broadly) it might take to satisfyingly resolve what the first chapter sets up, or something along those lines.
My preferred bluntness level is: pretty gentle, please. Criticism is fine, of course, but I'd appreciate if you also mentioned something that works well.
Content notes: this is a Buffy the Vampire Slayer work with some references to Angel the series. It's most directly based on the BtVS episode "Intervention" and the AtS episode "Disharmony", so a familiarity with those might help. The main characters are the Buffybot and Harmony Kendall. The story is rated T. I would describe it as a friendship/comedy/adventure/coming of age kind of story, so in a word, gen. However, there is canon Spuffy in the background and extensive discussion of Spike from the POV of Buffybot and Harmony. There's also an underlying assumption that soulless creatures are people who are capable of change and affection (while their default MO is to make bad life choices from a human perspective), and I'm not looking for a second opinion on that. :) There are temporary content warnings on some chapters, including animal death and Warren Mears being creepy.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-08-04 09:56 am (UTC)Alternatively, if someone reads just the first chapter, I'd want to know what expectations the chapter sets: what questions it opens, where you'd imagine the story might go, what kind of mood or genre you'd expect in the rest of the story, what (broadly) it might take to satisfyingly resolve what the first chapter sets up, or something along those lines.
My preferred bluntness level is: pretty gentle, please. Criticism is fine, of course, but I'd appreciate if you also mentioned something that works well.
Content notes: this is a Buffy the Vampire Slayer work with some references to Angel the series. It's most directly based on the BtVS episode "Intervention" and the AtS episode "Disharmony", so a familiarity with those might help. The main characters are the Buffybot and Harmony Kendall. The story is rated T. I would describe it as a friendship/comedy/adventure/coming of age kind of story, so in a word, gen. However, there is canon Spuffy in the background and extensive discussion of Spike from the POV of Buffybot and Harmony. There's also an underlying assumption that soulless creatures are people who are capable of change and affection (while their default MO is to make bad life choices from a human perspective), and I'm not looking for a second opinion on that. :) There are temporary content warnings on some chapters, including animal death and Warren Mears being creepy.