concrit_x | Concrit for Mireia

I want to receive feedback by : Commenting on the fic on AO3, or posting a comment here (screened).

Here are the works I want feedback on: Any of these.

My works' fandoms and content notes are: Small fandoms, mostly! I have works for Long Live the Queen, Stardew Valley, Final Fantasy II, Breath of Fire 1, and Golden Sun. All warnings should be listed in the tags.

I have these questions for readers:

If you know the fandom, did you think the characters were in-character and/or the themes went well with the canon?
Did the story flow well?
Did the characters, their motivations, and any growth seem believable to you?
Does anything seem vague or unexplained to the point of being confusing?
Did anything seem out of place, handled poorly, or take you out of the story?
For stories written since the previous round (And set the palace on fire around him, Fear of Flying, and Going Forward), did you find the sentence structure varied enough? That was very helpful feedback I got last time, so I've attempting to pay better attention to it since.
For Fear of Flying - Did you feel the story was fair to Haley, and that Linus and Leo's association of her with city life made sense? Leo's impression of her was supposed to mimic the player's: finding her unlikable and shallow at first, but discovering there's more there with time and interactions. (Haley is supposed to be partway through her in-game character development in this story, if that helps.)
For Within My Grasp - Where is your eye immediately drawn? Do you think the picture is balanced? What would you say the piece's mood is? Are there any technical flaws that throw you out of it?
For And set the palace on fire around him - I've had this fic idea for ages, but actually writing it was like pulling teeth. I'm still not satisfied with it. Does it make any sense at all? I've also got about 300 or so words I cut because I thought they were unnecessary, but now I'm having second thoughts. I'd be happy to show you what was cut if you request it.
Overall, did you enjoy the work you chose?