Concrit for regshoe

[regshoe]

I want to receive feedback by : Email (esmereldamargaretnotespelling@gmail.com) or comment on this post.

Here are the works I want feedback on (optional: and my safe works are...): My works are here—any of these would be fine! I'd especially like feedback on fic for Flight of the Heron, my current main fandom. If you don't know my main fandoms and don't want to read without knowing canon, you could try one of the stories I've written for various short ballads and fairytales.

My works' fandoms and content notes are: My main fandoms are Flight of the Heron, Raffles and Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, and I've also written for various other old book fandoms and ballad/fairytale fandoms—all tagged on AO3. Archive warnings are tagged where relevant—the CNTWs are all for borderline Major Character Death and do not contain any other archive warning content—and more specific warnings are included in the author's notes.

I have these questions for readers: Really, I'd like to know about anything that occurs to you to comment on! I would especially like feedback on characterisation: if you know the fandom, do the characters feel true to their canon selves? if you don't, do you feel you get a good sense of who they are? if it's a ballad/fairytale fic which builds character from a small amount of canon, is this done well? Comments on pacing, structure and plot development would also be good, particularly if it's a longer fic.

The style of feedback I prefer to receive is: I'd like to hear about both good and bad things; I don't mind directness, and would welcome specific thoughts on how I might improve anything that didn't work.

Comments to this post will be: unscreened.

Comments

[eglantiere]

i read Concerning the Language of Birds, for a treat (mine as well!), and loved it a lot.

I think it did a really great job of delivering both the prose and the study (nothing "happens", per se, it's observations and conversations) and the clear emotional beat/theme (just as Piranesi/Matthew did, Sarah learns to bring the mindful calm and clarity of the House into the living world instead of dissolving into the House fully.) It's actually not where I thought the scene would go, and that pivot in the ending really gripped me, and made me feel the same happy/bittersweet jolt the ending of Piranesi did.

And to me, Sarah's inner voice rang true as well - she's careful and attentive, in her own way and style, and she considers her words and actions slowly and precisely, and she's drawn into the beauty of the House without - I think - being unduly seduced by it...

My favorite bit of imagery was, I think, the rooks: Two dozen or so rooks were scattered over the statues that covered the wall before her. The weak, colourless daylight suited the scene very well: black birds with grey faces perched on statues of white marble, which were fouled here and there by black-and-white droppings. But the rooks' feathers defied the gloom, conjuring brilliant iridescent shades of green and purple from the movements the birds made, jostling for position on the statues and flapping their ragged wings.

[regshoe]

Aww, thank you very much! That one was a bit of a challenge, writing in a new fandom and in a (er, kind of) modern setting, so I'm glad the structure and character voice worked for you. :)