Concrit for jury
Aug. 7th, 2020 10:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
juries posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
concrit_xI want to receive feedback by:
-Email: juuries @ gmail
-Discord PM: jury#5277
-Comment on my DW post in this community
Here are the works I want feedback on: These original works (all rated E):
The Drowning King (incest, noncon, 8,000 words)
The Faithless God (noncon, 6,200 words)
Subjugator (incest, CNTW, 15,000 words)
jus primae noctis (incest, noncon, 12,600 words)
The Bound Man (violence, 60,000 words).
My works' fandoms and content notes are: Original works, incest, noncon, violence, E rated.
I have these questions for readers:
General questions:
- How are the sensual details in the smut? I feel as if I write dynamics first and potentially the sensory details are lacking. Is there anything I can do to make the smut better/hotter? Are there repetitive details or odd word choice?
- Worldbuilding: I have a natural-focused worldbuilding philosophy; my intention is always to have details of the words revealed as they would naturally come up in the way the characters feel, act, and discuss things. However, it's difficult from a writing perspective to make sure that details are coming through to the reader clearly. Does the world and its systems flow naturally through to the reader or are there aspects that seem obtuse or that come through confusingly or too slowly?
- Character choice: this is a pretty simple one. I've been thinking lately about whether the narrative simply pulls the characters along or if it feels like they're making choices that drive the story.
- Quickly establishing characters: Scribbling around in original works means that characters have to be established quickly without prior knowledge. I'm curious how this comes across in my works.
Specific questions for each work:
- The Drowning King: I've been trying to figure out the essence of this work to capture it and use it for evil in the future, so I'm curious as to what might give a good impression of this work, more specifically what's working that gives it drive (and what's not). I don't really have a more specific question for this; I'd love to hear your general impression.
- The Faithless God: This is a bit of a mess in terms of worldbuilding and characterisation, so what I'm interested in is critique on both of these things in what was, to be honest, a pretty hastily written idfic.
- Subjugator: This one has some pretty complicated character threads that hopefully came together. I'm most interested in both Aloyse and Prothade's characterisation and notions of whether it feels like they make choices and Aloyse's characterisation arc in particular, as well as the dynamics in the smut.
- jus primae noctis: I don't have any strong specific questions for this work!
- The Bound Man: Yes, this is way too long for concrit but I have to put it here on the off chance that anyone is interested in having a crack at it. Absolutely any critique for this story would be welcome, particularly on pacing, characterisation for both Rhahat and Yaniv, worldbuilding, sensory detail in the smut, and the visual/sensory details of the world.
I would prefer gentle (5) or direct (1) feedback, or something in between: 1-3
-Email: juuries @ gmail
-Discord PM: jury#5277
-Comment on my DW post in this community
Here are the works I want feedback on: These original works (all rated E):
The Drowning King (incest, noncon, 8,000 words)
The Faithless God (noncon, 6,200 words)
Subjugator (incest, CNTW, 15,000 words)
jus primae noctis (incest, noncon, 12,600 words)
The Bound Man (violence, 60,000 words).
My works' fandoms and content notes are: Original works, incest, noncon, violence, E rated.
I have these questions for readers:
General questions:
- How are the sensual details in the smut? I feel as if I write dynamics first and potentially the sensory details are lacking. Is there anything I can do to make the smut better/hotter? Are there repetitive details or odd word choice?
- Worldbuilding: I have a natural-focused worldbuilding philosophy; my intention is always to have details of the words revealed as they would naturally come up in the way the characters feel, act, and discuss things. However, it's difficult from a writing perspective to make sure that details are coming through to the reader clearly. Does the world and its systems flow naturally through to the reader or are there aspects that seem obtuse or that come through confusingly or too slowly?
- Character choice: this is a pretty simple one. I've been thinking lately about whether the narrative simply pulls the characters along or if it feels like they're making choices that drive the story.
- Quickly establishing characters: Scribbling around in original works means that characters have to be established quickly without prior knowledge. I'm curious how this comes across in my works.
Specific questions for each work:
- The Drowning King: I've been trying to figure out the essence of this work to capture it and use it for evil in the future, so I'm curious as to what might give a good impression of this work, more specifically what's working that gives it drive (and what's not). I don't really have a more specific question for this; I'd love to hear your general impression.
- The Faithless God: This is a bit of a mess in terms of worldbuilding and characterisation, so what I'm interested in is critique on both of these things in what was, to be honest, a pretty hastily written idfic.
- Subjugator: This one has some pretty complicated character threads that hopefully came together. I'm most interested in both Aloyse and Prothade's characterisation and notions of whether it feels like they make choices and Aloyse's characterisation arc in particular, as well as the dynamics in the smut.
- jus primae noctis: I don't have any strong specific questions for this work!
- The Bound Man: Yes, this is way too long for concrit but I have to put it here on the off chance that anyone is interested in having a crack at it. Absolutely any critique for this story would be welcome, particularly on pacing, characterisation for both Rhahat and Yaniv, worldbuilding, sensory detail in the smut, and the visual/sensory details of the world.
I would prefer gentle (5) or direct (1) feedback, or something in between: 1-3
