So I had a bit of internal debate over whether to give you my perspective on this, and I landed on the side of saying something after all. Concrit is highly subjective, and I am here offering my opinion in all respect to your critic as well as you, in case this different view might be at all useful?
So I really enjoyed your lovely RMSE story, and I 100% agreed with everything in anticyclone's thoughtful, well-reasoned comment, except for their final point on the ending. I definitely get where they were coming from, viz, that removing references to Enjolras's doubts improved the trajectory of the emotional arc, whereas including it threw them out of the fic? It's just that, for me, including it made the ending a bit less "pat". Having this interlude with Bahorel isn't going to change their fate, or Enjolras' previous ambivalence to the distractions of love; if the last para was an unambiguous paean to a hopeful future, that would have rung falsely for me (not that either you or your critic would have suggested you do this, of course). Plus your inclusion of True, he'd never imagined needing or wanting something like this added a bittersweet note that struck me as realistic and in keeping with the canon, and provided a needful counterpoint to But the world sat on the brink of change.
(Hope I haven't been out of line with this comment; please let me know if you or anticyclone would prefer that I offered it privately and I will make it poof away!)
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Date: 2020-08-24 03:39 pm (UTC)So I really enjoyed your lovely RMSE story, and I 100% agreed with everything in anticyclone's thoughtful, well-reasoned comment, except for their final point on the ending. I definitely get where they were coming from, viz, that removing references to Enjolras's doubts improved the trajectory of the emotional arc, whereas including it threw them out of the fic? It's just that, for me, including it made the ending a bit less "pat". Having this interlude with Bahorel isn't going to change their fate, or Enjolras' previous ambivalence to the distractions of love; if the last para was an unambiguous paean to a hopeful future, that would have rung falsely for me (not that either you or your critic would have suggested you do this, of course). Plus your inclusion of True, he'd never imagined needing or wanting something like this added a bittersweet note that struck me as realistic and in keeping with the canon, and provided a needful counterpoint to But the world sat on the brink of change.
(Hope I haven't been out of line with this comment; please let me know if you or anticyclone would prefer that I offered it privately and I will make it poof away!)