Concrit for Luzula
Apr. 14th, 2021 11:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
luzula posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
concrit_xI want to receive feedback by : email (luzula at fripost dot org) or comment on this post.
Here are the works I want feedback on: Here are my works. It would be most useful to me to get feedback on more recent works, say, within the last six years. But if you really want to do one of my older works, you can. What I would like most is to get feedback on my Flight of the Heron writing, but most of what I've done there is longfics, and I understand if you don't have the time for that! If you want, you could read the first 10,000 words or so of If Fate Should Reverse Our Positions. Or if you want something short and self-contained, you could do A Last Taste of Life. It's a different but tangentially related fandom, with a similar style. But if there's something else I've written which is in fandom you're in, or that you otherwise feel attracted to reading, do go with that.
My works' fandoms and content notes are: Most of my older work is in due South, but otherwise I mostly write in rarelit fandoms, currently the 18th century historical fandom Flight of the Heron. But in the last six years I've also written Star Wars, The Dark is Rising, Earthsea, Temeraire, etc. For content notes, check the fics, but I don't think I have any that apply to so many of my fics that they're worth mentioning. I write the full spectrum from porn to gen.
I have these questions for readers: Well, mostly I want to know things I didn't know to ask about! Like, if I knew it was an issue I suppose I would have worked more on it...but anyway, I'd love to get feedback about any aspects of style/plot/structure/characterization/setting.
The style of feedback I prefer to receive is: A mix of positive and negative aspects is most useful to me.
Comments to this post will be: unscreened
Here are the works I want feedback on: Here are my works. It would be most useful to me to get feedback on more recent works, say, within the last six years. But if you really want to do one of my older works, you can. What I would like most is to get feedback on my Flight of the Heron writing, but most of what I've done there is longfics, and I understand if you don't have the time for that! If you want, you could read the first 10,000 words or so of If Fate Should Reverse Our Positions. Or if you want something short and self-contained, you could do A Last Taste of Life. It's a different but tangentially related fandom, with a similar style. But if there's something else I've written which is in fandom you're in, or that you otherwise feel attracted to reading, do go with that.
My works' fandoms and content notes are: Most of my older work is in due South, but otherwise I mostly write in rarelit fandoms, currently the 18th century historical fandom Flight of the Heron. But in the last six years I've also written Star Wars, The Dark is Rising, Earthsea, Temeraire, etc. For content notes, check the fics, but I don't think I have any that apply to so many of my fics that they're worth mentioning. I write the full spectrum from porn to gen.
I have these questions for readers: Well, mostly I want to know things I didn't know to ask about! Like, if I knew it was an issue I suppose I would have worked more on it...but anyway, I'd love to get feedback about any aspects of style/plot/structure/characterization/setting.
The style of feedback I prefer to receive is: A mix of positive and negative aspects is most useful to me.
Comments to this post will be: unscreened
Re: concrit assignment - At the Hearth of Estre
Date: 2021-05-11 08:25 pm (UTC)Second, it's so interesting how people approach giving concrit. I'd focused a lot on writing style in one of my assignments, and you focus a lot on characterization. Which is definitely welcome and helpful to me!
I should say that this story was quite difficult for me--it was a Yuletide assignment, and I struggled for quite a long time with what to write. I've written LHoD fic before, but with original characters, and with that freedom, it wasn't difficult. But rereading canon, I felt like there were just no chinks in it where I could write something about Genly and Therem, because it's so good as is! Finally I ended up with this pre-canon idea, but with a post-canon frame.
And I get the feeling you're implying it's because he had his own preferences for what that feeling might be and that made him keen to not know? Which I think works really well, as motivation and impetus for a reader of your story.
Actually, re: these sentences in the story, There's still so much I don't know about him. What was his relationship to his brother, Arek, whom he heard in my mind-speech? And to his kemmering, Foreth rem ir Osboth? The whole universe of his thoughts and feelings, which are now gone. I think you credit me with being deeper than I was! All I really meant to convey was Genly's contradictory wish to get closer to Therem while also being reluctant to pry into his most intimate relationships.
Oops, sorry about the kyorremy misspelling! Will correct, thanks.
Glad you enjoyed the diary entries! I do love epistolary/journal fic.
I think your distinction between trust and understanding is very interesting! You're right that understanding would have made much more of a difference in how things went. And if I'd got that feedback in the beta process, would definitely have used it to tweak the story.
Neither must I think that we on Gethen are less than they are, despite their superior technology. I think I meant this to show that Therem, despite being less influenced by it than many, still thinks in terms of shifgrethor. I can't say I entirely understand that concept, but it's related to honour and pride, and I suppose that's what I was trying to capture. But on reflection, I think you're right they might not think Hainish technology superior, or not immediately so, anyway. Gethen seems an extremely careful culture when it comes to technology, and I think would be quite slow to adopt alien technology, before they could be sure it wouldn't upset the underpinnings of their survival.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful feedback on the story!